Compassion and Eating Choices

A quote from Buddha says that one cannot eat flesh and be truly fully compassionate. The one cannot co-exist with the other. Today, psychological studies bear this out.1 Studies show that human beings necessarily compartmentalize their emotions when they eat animal products; they may allow themselves to empathize with cats or dogs, but they tell themselves that cows or chickens or turkeys or fish have no feelings, or are somehow not intelligent enough to feel sorrow and fear. They do this to avoid caring and guilt. They tell themselves lies. They tell their children lies.

How can we teach our children to be compassionate, loving people if we demonstrate cruelty and hypocricy with every meal?

It is important that you teach your child compassion through your own behaviour. Your child will eventually see the evidence of the cruelty and toxicity of flesh consumption. It is no longer hidden; it is everywhere. How will you answer their questions?

And what about physical health?

Studies repeatedly show that meat eaters are far more likely to suffer from other cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, and many cancers2. Years ago, we didn't have this knowledge. Our parents did not know. But today, would we knowingly stack the odds against our own child's health? What we feed our children may sabotage their future health. And animal products, as well as other junk foods, are addicting.

Isn't it interesting that those who consume animal products are far more likely to suffer heart disease than vegetarians? Does hardening our hearts actually lead to literally hardened hearts?

Life partners need to honesty discuss these things, and it may not be easy.

It is a delicate and difficult challange to mention to a spouse that their eating habits are unhealthy, environmentally destructive3, and tragically unethical. If it is perceived as an attack, (as it surely could be), such a statement will provoke defensiveness and anger. That's terrible for a relationship, and is a conversation nobody wants to have. When it comes down to it, peace and joy in a home is the most important thing.

Obviously each of us makes our own ethical choices based upon our own knowledge and level of consciousness. And most of us have realized that trying to change your partner is doomed to failure. Live and let live.

But... herein lies the connundrum. You probably did not consider bringing a child into the world with this person when you first fell in love. There was no need to be concerned with habits, was there? And yet, what if their habits are actually damaging to the child - in body, mind, or spirit?

If you and your partner can have a lighthearted, somewhat impersonal discussion without judgement or defensiveness, you're on great footing to make plans together for the best interest of your child. No judgement, (it's probably best to avoid the ethical considerations in this particular discussion).

It may be insightful to think of the consumption of animal products as similar to smoking.

FDA WARNING: Smoking can kill you. PCRM WARNING: Meat can kill you.

There was a time that doctors routinely prescribed cigarettes for stress. This eventually changed. There was a time that people did not believe that second hand smoke caused any harm. If your partner smokes, what do the two of you decide to do?

Many parents are OK with smoking away from their baby. Perhaps your partner will also refrain from eating flesh foods around him/her.

If you can have this kind of discussion, you're in luck!

Consider the alternative. You avoid the discussion and weakly keep quiet and hope that the second hand smoke won't be too bad for your baby. Or you helplessly hope the child won't want to taste the dead animal carcass that sits on your partner's plate. How about going a step further? What if your spouse encouraged your toddler to smoke, placing lit cigarettes in his/her hand? Do you still keep quiet? What if your spouse rejected the scientific evidence and claimed that smoking and meat-eating was harmless? How would you respond?

Many meat eaters are in deep denial as to the suffering they cause, the environmental degredation, and the toxic nature of even the "healthiest" meats. To acknowledge the facts requires either a change in behavior, or admiting that they are ruled more by their habits than by their heart or mind. Conscience is a very personal thing, and can't be forced or legislated. There is nothing you can do to change your partner, so please don't try.

Your partner's own habits belong to them alone, and we all have our vices; it is not your right to judge or force them to be different. Yet when it comes to protecting your child, you have a responsibility that superceeds all others.

Herin lies a bit of a delimma. Your child's future physical health, and his/her developing moral consciousness deserve your full protection. None of us can afford to elevate our habits and vices above the well-being of our child. As parents, don't we all want to avoid passing on dysfunction and disease whenever possible? (And we won't be able to avoid them all!) But we also want peace and understanding in our home - not a battle of wills between parents that will create a hostile environment. If it comes to that, I would suggest that you simply minimize exposure to animal products when you can, and wait until your child is older and can make his/her own decisions based upon information. Sadly, if your partner is unwilling to make adaptations, it may be almost impossible to successfully raise a vegetarian child.

So what can be done? The best option is a calm, compassionate, judgement-free discussion about what is best for your child's physical health, emotional and spiritual well being, AND for the planet your child will come to inherit. Ideally, this would happen before you have children, but sometimes this time has long passed. Gather your facts. Most of us will try to do what is best for our children despite our own cravings and old habits. Our children deserve that from us, and will thrive because we cared enough to give them the best that we know how. They also deserve a happy home life. We have to do our best to give them both.

Yes, we'll all make mistakes, and we're all human. But we can make the effort to give them the tools they'll need to be evolving, healthy human beings by encouraging them to develop their intelligence, compassion, and by giving them the best chance at an enlightened consciousness, a healthy body and a better world.

Help your kids step into the 21st century with optimal health and loving, compassionate hearts. It's the greatest gift you can give.

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