Conscious Parenting - Interstellar Life

Conscious Parenting originally appeared on a website from the Ancient Days of the Web way back in 1998.

This article was written by a successful parent - a single mom, with training in psychology and behavioral therapy - in response to the many questions she received from other parents.

Conscious Parenting surprised everyone involved with its immediate popularity: the author began receiving requests to use it in child-raising workshops worldwide. The website was getting links from everywhere on the planet, The article was reprinted in several formats, from paper newsletters to usegroups -- and even became a part of a University thesis on Parenting. In response to popular request, the original article has been more fully developed into this e-book, available at: http://www.DigitalGoddess.org.

Happy Parenting!

Conscious Parenting

Conscious Parenting is divided into three sections:

Love and Empathy

Authority

Help! My Kid's a Brat!!!

Imagine a world where accidental pregnancy was not possible. Instead, two thoughtful people would have to go through a series of steps in order to create a child. Perhaps both egg and sperm production would be, in this fantasy world, somehow linked to the development of parenting skills. Traits such as the ability to love, share empathy and compassion,along with a certain amount of reasoning skills would trigger fertility. (remember, this is a fantasy!) But not all people would wish to become parents, so perhaps in order to achieve actual pregnancy, a conscious decision would still be required -- perhaps a specific diet or sexual position -- in order to conceive a child. Thus, all children born would have been expressly desired.

The children would certainly be fewer! Overpopulation would cease to be a concern. Environmental degradation would no longer be an issue. These fewer and most precious of children would be educated by their parents, or groups of parents, who would never trust such an important responsibility to some faceless bureaucracy.

Imagine then, that the entire culture treasured these children, seeing them as precious jewels to be nurtured into wonderful, intelligent, healthy creative adults. This culture would encourage individuality instead of conformity, because parenting would be seen as an honor instead of a duty.

Have you ever stopped to question why children are generally dysfunctional?

Each child is emotionally healthy at birth. Newborn babies do not fear the dark, or dogs, or imagine monsters lurking outside. Newborns cry when something hurts, like a hungry stomach or wet diapers against tender skin. They do not scheme to be annoying, act out in weird behavior to gain attention, or have nervous habits. What happens?

Human babies are like fantastically equipped learning machines. From the moment they are born, they are imprinting, observing, adapting, and imitating. They quickly learn facial expressions, tones of voice, and words. Their learning skills will never be as awesome as they are in the first few years of life. Young children process vast amounts of information each day in order to successfully master necessary body skills, at least one language, and complex social behaviors.

Psychologists have long insisted that our reactive personality is formed by the age of 5. This means that the person (or persons) most involved with your child has tremendous impact upon it’s developing emotional skills -- for better or worse.

So the primary caregivers must look to themselves for the answers to their child’s neurosis -- and that’s exactly what it is. Your child was born with the ability to become a perfectly healthy adult.

Here is where we parents sometimes excuse their responsibility by saying, "but my kid was born like that!" or even worse, "but it's human nature!" Yes, your child was born with specific personality traits, such as being outgoing or introspective. But 'naturally outgoing' does not mean naturally obnoxious - and 'naturally introspective' does not equal painfully withdrawn! The way in which these natural traits manifest themselves depends upon your behavior.

Lest we fall into the popular trap of blame, it is obvious that many of your own basic neurosis were also learned behaviors. Your parents’ behavior influenced you, and their parents influenced them ad infinitum. We humans have been passing down wonderful skills and abilities, as well as neurotic behavior, for millennia. Until now, our species simply hasn't been conscious enough to choose the positive behaviors and lose the negative ones.

Today we are fortunate to be able to address these issues. Just take a look at the Internet or your local bookstore. You’ll see scores of "self help" resources; the varying methods of psychology, hypnosis, metaphysical work, intellectual development and cultural change are everywhere we turn. There is a virtual plethora of websites, books, videos, workshops, radio and television shows, all addressing one theme: changing our behavior.

As a society, we have realized the problem, and as individuals we are addressing these problems. Such opportunities and resources were simply unavailable in previous generations.

For the first time in history we have the ability to consciously shape our own behavior, and thus become more balanced, happy, and healthy human beings. We can raise the first generation of people who, unimpeded by crippling neurosis, can reach the potential they were born with.

We can start today.

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